(no subject)
Aug. 30th, 2004 11:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoweeFor some dumbass reason, the person this was written for can't access it. GRRR! In the off chance anyone else was interested and also had problems, I shall post this way and hope problems are resolved. (Let me know if not) For ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jodie_mouse
Alex caught a glimpse of his reflection in the shop window and couldn't resist the opportunity to make sure his hair was perfect. He patted it, then stepped out into the sunlight as he slipped on his sunglasses, a small plastic bag in his right hand.
Suddenly he felt a tug on the bag so he gripped tight. "Hey, that's my..." he began as he turned his head, but an instant later, a hand flew over his mouth from behind and he was shoved into the back of a tiny car.
Though the back seat would barely have been comfortable enough for two, he found himself wedged between two females. Unable to resist his captivity, he decided to signal for help. It was then that he realized the windows of the car had been spray-painted black. The windshield, though clean, provided little view for him to gain attention.
He glanced at his four captors. The driver had a lopsided hairdo with a wild flair. The passenger’s long magenta hair hung straight down her back and to either side of him sat blonde twins, though one had short, princess curled light hair while the one on his right behind the driver had a dirty blonde pageboy haircut.
The woman to his left kept staring at his bag as though she was trying to see through it. Alex cleared his throat. "Someone will notice I've gone missing," he mumbled.
The passenger smirked. "Eventually," she said sadistically.
The driver shot the passenger a look. "What are you trying to do, Elle? You'll scare him to death."
Elle glanced back at him, her eyes nefarious. Alex squirmed.
"We don't bite," the curly blonde offered dryly, then smirked. "Well, Elle does occasionally," she added, waving toward the curly blonde. "But we had a nice long talk with her this morning. Right, Elle?"
Elle smiled, batting her eyes. "Yes, Em annd I always do as I'm told. You believe that, don't you?" she asked Alex, smirking.
Alex swallowed hard. Trying to read the look that Elle and the driver gave each other, he avoided looking at the two on either side of him.
The driver took a succession of sharp turns before pulling into an alley behind a condemned building. The building was mid-destruction, but no one was around as it was between phases. The women guided Alex from the car and led him to a quiet corner where they put him in a folding chair that appeared to be awaiting their arrival.
The woman who had been driving took his bag and stepped aside as Elle used fuzzy leopard-print handcuffs to secure him to the chair. Afterwards she straightened and turned. "Secure, Jay," Elle commented.
"Oh, Kaye, can you go back to the car and get the bottled water? We forgot that our prisoner might be parched," Jay said.
The butch twin nodded and disappeared. Jay and Em stood before Alex as Elle leaned against a wall with her hands in her pockets. They stared until he couldn't take it anymore. "What do you want from me?" Alex finally asked.
Elle smiled the smile that made him nervous, but Jay spoke. "We'd like you to answer for Michael."
"Michael who?" Alex asked, then blinked. "Oh, Michael."
Em began to pace, allowing Jay to have her moment.
"You refuse to publicly acknowledge the homoerotic nature of the song. You refuse to give details. You refuse to enlighten us," Jay explained.
"I don't want to talk about it," Alex breathed, staring at the broken cement floor.
Jay sighed, folding her arms. "You know, a lot of us spent years trying to understand our sexuality. We finally finally have a song we can relate to on a personal level and I think you have an obligation to give us someone to identify with."
"There are other songs," Alex argued.
"Of course there are others, but Michael is special. 'Stubble on my sticky lips'? 'Come all over me'? It’s so blatant."
"You know, my publicist thinks I have a better chance at success if I don’t confirm..."
"The truth?" Jay interrupted fiercely.
"I'm not gay. I've a girlfriend," he attempted weakly.
Jay raised an eyebrow. "That's half the problem. In our society we're told to see heterosexual or homosexual. What about bisexual? Is that not even an acceptable possibility? Are those of us who are bisexual just to be kicked to the curb? Are we supposed to remain hidden in the closet because people are afraid of ignoring gender?"
Alex looked guilty, licking his lips before speaking. "You know, it's hard to find gay heroes because openly gay celebrities don't make it very far."
Elle straightened. "And as long as they're afraid and go hiding back in the closet, there never will be any gay heroes for people to look up to."
Kaye returned, handing an unopened bottle of water to Alex. He stared at it so she took it back, opened it, and returned it. He drank a little. Kaye took the plastic bag from Jay.
Jay took a step forward. "We're not actually interested in your sexuality, per se, Mr. Kapranos. The question that deserves an honest answer is how you can provide the public with a song as beautiful as Michael and then take it away, claiming it's not gay?"
"Who said it absolutely has to be gay?" Alex asked.
Elle cocked her head. "Uh, the lyrics?" she remarked with sarcasm.
Alex pursed his lips. "Who said it deserves an honest answer?"
"Confused teenagers the world over!" Jay snapped.
"I feel I've answered for that many times."
"Vaguely. With innuendo, jokes, and deflection." Jay stepped forward in deliberate confrontation mode. "We're looking for 'Yes, it is meant plainly and evenly as a gay song', but if the answer is no, I want to know why you say it isn't in a way that doesn't leave more questions than it answers."
Alex pondered. "See, there was this night when we all got a bit pissed..."
Elle cleared her throat. Alex stopped, looking at her. "That's not a yes or no," she stated.
He looked away. "There were some very sexy things..."
"What kind of things?"
"Sexy things between people..."
"What people?" Jay asked, aggravated. "See? You're leaving more questions than you're answering. Are these people gay? Did they come to some realizations because of this Michael? What?"
Alex stared at the women. Kaye opened the bag. From it, she took a dildo made of purple translucent gel and filled with glitter. She held it up. The ladies looked at it, then at Alex, then at the dildo. Finally they rested their eyes on him. Elle stepped forward. "Well, I'm just dying to know what that’s for."
Looking flustered, Alex stammered. "I, well, I... it's a gift." He shifted. "For a friend."
"For a friend, of course," Elle said. "Makes perfect sense. I mean, I buy sex toys for my friends all the time." Jay and Em looked at Elle, then Elle cleared her throat. "Okay, I do, but normal people don't."
"It's really none of your business," Alex defended sternly.
Jay stepped closer to him. "I'm sure your private life is none of our business, but we're talking about how it relates to a song you've shared with the world.”
Alex bowed his head. "It's for a friend." His voice went quiet. "Let's call him Michael."
"Ah ha!" Elle snapped, pointing as she looked around. "Oh, right. Not the time for accusatory finger. Go ahead, Mr. Kapranos."
"Michael isn't completely true," he began. "It's also not completely untrue." He let out a breath. "Yes. It was a night where these sexy things happened between two men. I don't think it would have happened on any night, but you know how sometimes you're with your friends and things just make a certain sort of sense they never made before?" He stopped, then nodded."Like kidnapping me?"
Jay raised her eyebrows. "Don't you think that the simple act of giving hope to nippers today is a noble enough reason to stop all this insanity?"
Alex furrowed his brow. "I've a gig on Top of the Pops next week. If I promise to make amends, will you let me go?"
Elle scoffed. "Well, you've seen us now. We have to kill you." Jay threw Elle a look and Alex looked suddenly terrified, but Elle just laughed. "Of course," she said, waving Em to undo the bonds.
{cue organ music from Monty Python & The Holy Grail closing credits}
jodie_mouseAlex caught a glimpse of his reflection in the shop window and couldn't resist the opportunity to make sure his hair was perfect. He patted it, then stepped out into the sunlight as he slipped on his sunglasses, a small plastic bag in his right hand.
Suddenly he felt a tug on the bag so he gripped tight. "Hey, that's my..." he began as he turned his head, but an instant later, a hand flew over his mouth from behind and he was shoved into the back of a tiny car.
Though the back seat would barely have been comfortable enough for two, he found himself wedged between two females. Unable to resist his captivity, he decided to signal for help. It was then that he realized the windows of the car had been spray-painted black. The windshield, though clean, provided little view for him to gain attention.
He glanced at his four captors. The driver had a lopsided hairdo with a wild flair. The passenger’s long magenta hair hung straight down her back and to either side of him sat blonde twins, though one had short, princess curled light hair while the one on his right behind the driver had a dirty blonde pageboy haircut.
The woman to his left kept staring at his bag as though she was trying to see through it. Alex cleared his throat. "Someone will notice I've gone missing," he mumbled.
The passenger smirked. "Eventually," she said sadistically.
The driver shot the passenger a look. "What are you trying to do, Elle? You'll scare him to death."
Elle glanced back at him, her eyes nefarious. Alex squirmed.
"We don't bite," the curly blonde offered dryly, then smirked. "Well, Elle does occasionally," she added, waving toward the curly blonde. "But we had a nice long talk with her this morning. Right, Elle?"
Elle smiled, batting her eyes. "Yes, Em annd I always do as I'm told. You believe that, don't you?" she asked Alex, smirking.
Alex swallowed hard. Trying to read the look that Elle and the driver gave each other, he avoided looking at the two on either side of him.
The driver took a succession of sharp turns before pulling into an alley behind a condemned building. The building was mid-destruction, but no one was around as it was between phases. The women guided Alex from the car and led him to a quiet corner where they put him in a folding chair that appeared to be awaiting their arrival.
The woman who had been driving took his bag and stepped aside as Elle used fuzzy leopard-print handcuffs to secure him to the chair. Afterwards she straightened and turned. "Secure, Jay," Elle commented.
"Oh, Kaye, can you go back to the car and get the bottled water? We forgot that our prisoner might be parched," Jay said.
The butch twin nodded and disappeared. Jay and Em stood before Alex as Elle leaned against a wall with her hands in her pockets. They stared until he couldn't take it anymore. "What do you want from me?" Alex finally asked.
Elle smiled the smile that made him nervous, but Jay spoke. "We'd like you to answer for Michael."
"Michael who?" Alex asked, then blinked. "Oh, Michael."
Em began to pace, allowing Jay to have her moment.
"You refuse to publicly acknowledge the homoerotic nature of the song. You refuse to give details. You refuse to enlighten us," Jay explained.
"I don't want to talk about it," Alex breathed, staring at the broken cement floor.
Jay sighed, folding her arms. "You know, a lot of us spent years trying to understand our sexuality. We finally finally have a song we can relate to on a personal level and I think you have an obligation to give us someone to identify with."
"There are other songs," Alex argued.
"Of course there are others, but Michael is special. 'Stubble on my sticky lips'? 'Come all over me'? It’s so blatant."
"You know, my publicist thinks I have a better chance at success if I don’t confirm..."
"The truth?" Jay interrupted fiercely.
"I'm not gay. I've a girlfriend," he attempted weakly.
Jay raised an eyebrow. "That's half the problem. In our society we're told to see heterosexual or homosexual. What about bisexual? Is that not even an acceptable possibility? Are those of us who are bisexual just to be kicked to the curb? Are we supposed to remain hidden in the closet because people are afraid of ignoring gender?"
Alex looked guilty, licking his lips before speaking. "You know, it's hard to find gay heroes because openly gay celebrities don't make it very far."
Elle straightened. "And as long as they're afraid and go hiding back in the closet, there never will be any gay heroes for people to look up to."
Kaye returned, handing an unopened bottle of water to Alex. He stared at it so she took it back, opened it, and returned it. He drank a little. Kaye took the plastic bag from Jay.
Jay took a step forward. "We're not actually interested in your sexuality, per se, Mr. Kapranos. The question that deserves an honest answer is how you can provide the public with a song as beautiful as Michael and then take it away, claiming it's not gay?"
"Who said it absolutely has to be gay?" Alex asked.
Elle cocked her head. "Uh, the lyrics?" she remarked with sarcasm.
Alex pursed his lips. "Who said it deserves an honest answer?"
"Confused teenagers the world over!" Jay snapped.
"I feel I've answered for that many times."
"Vaguely. With innuendo, jokes, and deflection." Jay stepped forward in deliberate confrontation mode. "We're looking for 'Yes, it is meant plainly and evenly as a gay song', but if the answer is no, I want to know why you say it isn't in a way that doesn't leave more questions than it answers."
Alex pondered. "See, there was this night when we all got a bit pissed..."
Elle cleared her throat. Alex stopped, looking at her. "That's not a yes or no," she stated.
He looked away. "There were some very sexy things..."
"What kind of things?"
"Sexy things between people..."
"What people?" Jay asked, aggravated. "See? You're leaving more questions than you're answering. Are these people gay? Did they come to some realizations because of this Michael? What?"
Alex stared at the women. Kaye opened the bag. From it, she took a dildo made of purple translucent gel and filled with glitter. She held it up. The ladies looked at it, then at Alex, then at the dildo. Finally they rested their eyes on him. Elle stepped forward. "Well, I'm just dying to know what that’s for."
Looking flustered, Alex stammered. "I, well, I... it's a gift." He shifted. "For a friend."
"For a friend, of course," Elle said. "Makes perfect sense. I mean, I buy sex toys for my friends all the time." Jay and Em looked at Elle, then Elle cleared her throat. "Okay, I do, but normal people don't."
"It's really none of your business," Alex defended sternly.
Jay stepped closer to him. "I'm sure your private life is none of our business, but we're talking about how it relates to a song you've shared with the world.”
Alex bowed his head. "It's for a friend." His voice went quiet. "Let's call him Michael."
"Ah ha!" Elle snapped, pointing as she looked around. "Oh, right. Not the time for accusatory finger. Go ahead, Mr. Kapranos."
"Michael isn't completely true," he began. "It's also not completely untrue." He let out a breath. "Yes. It was a night where these sexy things happened between two men. I don't think it would have happened on any night, but you know how sometimes you're with your friends and things just make a certain sort of sense they never made before?" He stopped, then nodded."Like kidnapping me?"
Jay raised her eyebrows. "Don't you think that the simple act of giving hope to nippers today is a noble enough reason to stop all this insanity?"
Alex furrowed his brow. "I've a gig on Top of the Pops next week. If I promise to make amends, will you let me go?"
Elle scoffed. "Well, you've seen us now. We have to kill you." Jay threw Elle a look and Alex looked suddenly terrified, but Elle just laughed. "Of course," she said, waving Em to undo the bonds.
{cue organ music from Monty Python & The Holy Grail closing credits}
