Dear Santa

Thank you VERY kindly, elfgeek for linking me to this bit of fun.

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kami's Christmas party. It was Jen who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla.

I thought it was funny when I put Kathy's shirt on my head and danced the tango on the couch while singing `Closer To God'. I didn't mean to break Kami's stun gun and don't know why Kami would sue me for indecent exposure.

I don't remember calling Nathan's wife a tiny chicken---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on Steph's husband's elbow, it was only because I ate too much of that cookie.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Jeep through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a wonky cat and have me arrested for theft!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all square and jittery. And I'm really not to blame for any of this pretty stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
Snowee (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 400 bucks!


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No music tonight. Hubby's flipping channels and stopping on lameass shows. Better go put a stop to that...

More Letters To Santa

Read mine to hubby. Not to be outdone, he created his own.


Dear Santa,

I have been a good Boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Patrick's Christmas party. It was Gayle who spiked the punch with too much Skyy Blue. I can't help it if I drank 6 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Silver.

I thought it was funny when I put Tim's Jock Strap on my head and danced the Tango on the Futon while singing `Stone Cold Crazy'. I didn't mean to break Patrick's Vibrator and don't know why Patrick would sue me for Assault and Battery.

I don't remember calling Joseph's wife a bouncy mink---even though she looked like one with amethyst eye shadow and emerald lipstick!

And when I threw up on Shalisse's husband's cock, it was only because I ate too much of that fondu.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my moped through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a jittery emu and have me arrested for arson!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all round and uncut. And I'm really not to blame for any of this slender stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and softly yours,
Scott (Really a nice Boy!)

P.S. It's only 55 bucks!

round and uncut!? ROTFLMAO!!!