Funnier than Fiction

[snowee]

About three weeks ago, my sister and I dropped of my husband's little sister at their family home. Pulling out of the driveway, we pointed and giggled at the lawn decorations.

You see, his father had put out his collection of plastic holiday statues. Out front he'd placed two deer. One stood directly behind the other and - well, with the front one lit at the back end and missing an antler while the one in back stood inches away (and unlit), the light seemed like a beckoning invitation.

Today, though! Today was the epitome of his dad's insanity/stupidity. We're pulling out of the driveway and hubby and I both look at the deer. On the ground between them is a plastic bag, a brightly covered rug, and a rock. (This is on top of the extension cord and chain that are already out there.) Hubby asks "What is that?" in horror and I responded "Tools of the trade?" We laughed, but then he called his father. What I hear on my end makes it impossible for me to avoid laughing. After asking him about the deer and the paraphernalia, he said something along the lines of "Yeah. Very discreet. I can't see the cords at all. The eye-jarring rug takes away from being able to see the cords."

I just... don't want to know why Santa, Mrs. Claus, and Frosty the Snowman are blushing anymore.

Although if anyone wants to turn this into a fic, I'm taking submissions...