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snoweeI didn't sleep much last night. I wouldn't normally consider that insomnia by itself except that for the past week I've spent 1-3 hours in the middle of the night just laying there, too tired to get up and be productive, but also not falling asleep (for no apparent reason). This happens on occasion. Annoys me every time. At least I can say this, though; I haven't spent weeks of not sleeping more than an hour or two a night since I got married. Oddly, I have slept better over the past 5 years than I ever did as a teen or in my early twenties (except that time I started drinking vodka before bed. I stopped that the night I realized I needed it to get to sleep).
These moments in bed when my mind keeps running, but my body can't are the times I have the best epiphanies. Hubby gets annoyed when I turn on a lamp and write my epiphanies so maybe I need to get a tape recorder I can whisper into since I lose most of them by morning.
Last night I had three that I remember. One was for a fic and I just made a note. The second was that in my first post I referred to my sister as the one I like. That was so wrong of me.
I'm the youngest of seven kids. I love all my siblings. I like {pondering} I like all of them. I consider myself acquainted with some of them (in the sense that we can carry on a good conversation that we'll enjoy). I even enjoy spending time with move of my sibling's spouses. I'm up to 20 nieces and nephews. I even to get along with the adult ones better (the eldest nieces are 8 years younger than I). A couple of them I'd consider friends.
The difference is that this particular sister and I are best friends. We are the kind of friends who stick through it all. We've had fights as sisters, but we're friends beyond that. So, she's the sister I hang out with most. I'm not sure why that needed to be said, but it did.
The last epiphany deals more with fanfic.net. You know, when there's a central location that most everyone knows about to bring fans/writers together, it's a good thing. It promotes friendship and acceptance. Everytime one of these big archives, one of these big groups cuts off half the people at the knees, we suddenly find ourselves divided. It's these divisions that promote the cliques. I don't like the smaller groupings because I find myself either torn between several or not a real part of any of them. This is how I spent my teenage years, forced to choose or shunned completely. Some silly part of me hoped adulthood would be different, but I've worked at jobs and volunteered places where the same has happened and with fanfic.net making some chops, I know there will be several out there like me feeling the sting. I have nothing archived there myself, yet I still feel betrayed? Why is that?
These moments in bed when my mind keeps running, but my body can't are the times I have the best epiphanies. Hubby gets annoyed when I turn on a lamp and write my epiphanies so maybe I need to get a tape recorder I can whisper into since I lose most of them by morning.
Last night I had three that I remember. One was for a fic and I just made a note. The second was that in my first post I referred to my sister as the one I like. That was so wrong of me.
I'm the youngest of seven kids. I love all my siblings. I like {pondering} I like all of them. I consider myself acquainted with some of them (in the sense that we can carry on a good conversation that we'll enjoy). I even enjoy spending time with move of my sibling's spouses. I'm up to 20 nieces and nephews. I even to get along with the adult ones better (the eldest nieces are 8 years younger than I). A couple of them I'd consider friends.
The difference is that this particular sister and I are best friends. We are the kind of friends who stick through it all. We've had fights as sisters, but we're friends beyond that. So, she's the sister I hang out with most. I'm not sure why that needed to be said, but it did.
The last epiphany deals more with fanfic.net. You know, when there's a central location that most everyone knows about to bring fans/writers together, it's a good thing. It promotes friendship and acceptance. Everytime one of these big archives, one of these big groups cuts off half the people at the knees, we suddenly find ourselves divided. It's these divisions that promote the cliques. I don't like the smaller groupings because I find myself either torn between several or not a real part of any of them. This is how I spent my teenage years, forced to choose or shunned completely. Some silly part of me hoped adulthood would be different, but I've worked at jobs and volunteered places where the same has happened and with fanfic.net making some chops, I know there will be several out there like me feeling the sting. I have nothing archived there myself, yet I still feel betrayed? Why is that?
