Why it can suck to be me
Nov. 20th, 2002 12:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoweeHonestly it's honesty
Honest trouble. It's something that gets me into trouble far too often. Someone asks me for my honest opinion and I give it. See, if you blatantly ask for it, I don't offer it wrapped in pretty ribbon with a perfect bow to spare your ego, I tell you what I think.
Problem is, someone asking for an honest opinion really wants you to pat them on the back and tell them they're right even when they're not.
I don't play that game and when people hear what I honestly think, they usually (because somehow society has ingrained this into us) also try to think of all the horrible implications. Don't. I say what I mean and if you try reading between the words, then you'll just be putting words in my mouth which isn't fair to anyone involved.
Just remember not to ask for my honest opinion unless you really want it.
Misunderstandings. Along similar lines, if I am honest with you, if I tell you something that really isn’t, to be very honest, your business at all, but I tell you out of respect to you, realizing that it could possibly affect you down the line, don’t return the favour by trying to make me feel guilty.
Issue on the table, I told a friend about something that really shouldn’t effect her, but does because she’s the jealous type. I told her because I knew she’d want to know, but I didn’t just flat out say it. I said it with a figure of speech. She misunderstood. Something she does often because she can’t put two and two together with a road map. I should have known. So I tried to clarify again, thinking I was being completely obvious. Nope, she still misunderstood because unless you spoon feed her, she will become malnourished.
So I clarified beyond clarity what I was saying and her response was not to accept it. It was to tell me a "joke" and send me song lyrics that I could only interpret as "you’re not honest with me. You manipulate me."
All this because I thought she could put together a three piece puzzle.
And this is where I get myself in trouble. I should probably apologize for that specifically, but I won’t. I’ll apologize if I really feel I’ve done something wrong (like send a nasty email) but I won’t apologize because someone else misunderstood. At the same time, I don’t think they should expect an apology. They should accept the mistake and more on because, let’s face it, we all make mistakes.
Guilt. Just a little advice along these lines. Don’t try to make me feel guilty. Chances are I already do, but I’m sure as hell not going to let you know that.
Pet Peeves
Guys who hold the silverware like it’s going to run away. I just can’t stand to see a grown man (or woman though it appears to be much more rare amongst the females) grasping the spoon with an over handed, wrapped around grip. You know what I’m talking about. The way a 2 year old eats cereal?
Michael on QaF does it and no one can understand why I’m not a big fan of his character.
Explained to hubby that this is something I notice right off. I still remember our first “eating” date and watching him pick up the silverware. Had he gripped it wrong, there wouldn’t have been a next.
I’m not sure why this really gets to me so much. It just does.
Advice
Dreams. Don’t tell me your dreams. Dreams are insane little stories our brains tell us while we’re sleeping at night. There’s the theory that they are waiting to be interpreted. Maybe so, but that’s between you and Freud.
I do not need, on a regular basis, to read long long emails detailing your stupid dreams because the big problem here is that if you send it, I’m automatically obligated to read it and respond appropriately. I don’t care! Even if I was in the dream, I don’t fucking care. (Besides, that's what LiveJournal cuts are for!)
You know, it’s not a big deal to hear about a dream once in a while because it’s:
a) short and/or funny or
b) it has a point and perhaps even an interpretation – you know, one you came up with on your own and you just want to share.
Even if you want help interpreting, I get that. Detailing how the BBQ turned into a squid and then I sprayed you with water is of no interest to me, even if you are my friend.
Friends. If it fits into the conversation and is important to the point, feel free to drop your friend’s name. I do not, however, need to be constantly updated on your friend’s personal situations, emails they’ve sent you, or anything else. They are your friends, not mine, and I just don’t care.
Gossip. Women and gossip. I just don’t get it. Notice most of my friends are the kind who don’t really gossip. Even though we all fall into that trap on rare occasions, it’s not a usual thing and we all feel weird because we don’t participate. That whole women, catty, gossip, fashion police thing I just don’t get.
Perhaps that’s why I’ve always gotten along so well with men.
You so crezee! If you have to tell people you are crazy, you aren’t. If you spend time singing off in tangents just to show people how crazy you are, what you probably don’t realize is that you are just making yourself look stupid because most people who really are free-thinking, outside the box kind of crazy can see right through you – and whether they say it out loud or not, they most likely think you’re a loser.
Pretending to have voices that have developed into personalities doesn’t make you schizophrenic. It also doesn’t make you creative. Despite what people who don’t know you might think, those who do are thinking that you’re a bit pathetic because we see right through you. Those of us who’ve taken sophomore psychology can tell you for a fact that you’re a big faker and it’s not working.
Honest trouble. It's something that gets me into trouble far too often. Someone asks me for my honest opinion and I give it. See, if you blatantly ask for it, I don't offer it wrapped in pretty ribbon with a perfect bow to spare your ego, I tell you what I think.
Problem is, someone asking for an honest opinion really wants you to pat them on the back and tell them they're right even when they're not.
I don't play that game and when people hear what I honestly think, they usually (because somehow society has ingrained this into us) also try to think of all the horrible implications. Don't. I say what I mean and if you try reading between the words, then you'll just be putting words in my mouth which isn't fair to anyone involved.
Just remember not to ask for my honest opinion unless you really want it.
Misunderstandings. Along similar lines, if I am honest with you, if I tell you something that really isn’t, to be very honest, your business at all, but I tell you out of respect to you, realizing that it could possibly affect you down the line, don’t return the favour by trying to make me feel guilty.
Issue on the table, I told a friend about something that really shouldn’t effect her, but does because she’s the jealous type. I told her because I knew she’d want to know, but I didn’t just flat out say it. I said it with a figure of speech. She misunderstood. Something she does often because she can’t put two and two together with a road map. I should have known. So I tried to clarify again, thinking I was being completely obvious. Nope, she still misunderstood because unless you spoon feed her, she will become malnourished.
So I clarified beyond clarity what I was saying and her response was not to accept it. It was to tell me a "joke" and send me song lyrics that I could only interpret as "you’re not honest with me. You manipulate me."
All this because I thought she could put together a three piece puzzle.
And this is where I get myself in trouble. I should probably apologize for that specifically, but I won’t. I’ll apologize if I really feel I’ve done something wrong (like send a nasty email) but I won’t apologize because someone else misunderstood. At the same time, I don’t think they should expect an apology. They should accept the mistake and more on because, let’s face it, we all make mistakes.
Guilt. Just a little advice along these lines. Don’t try to make me feel guilty. Chances are I already do, but I’m sure as hell not going to let you know that.
Pet Peeves
Guys who hold the silverware like it’s going to run away. I just can’t stand to see a grown man (or woman though it appears to be much more rare amongst the females) grasping the spoon with an over handed, wrapped around grip. You know what I’m talking about. The way a 2 year old eats cereal?
Michael on QaF does it and no one can understand why I’m not a big fan of his character.
Explained to hubby that this is something I notice right off. I still remember our first “eating” date and watching him pick up the silverware. Had he gripped it wrong, there wouldn’t have been a next.
I’m not sure why this really gets to me so much. It just does.
Advice
Dreams. Don’t tell me your dreams. Dreams are insane little stories our brains tell us while we’re sleeping at night. There’s the theory that they are waiting to be interpreted. Maybe so, but that’s between you and Freud.
I do not need, on a regular basis, to read long long emails detailing your stupid dreams because the big problem here is that if you send it, I’m automatically obligated to read it and respond appropriately. I don’t care! Even if I was in the dream, I don’t fucking care. (Besides, that's what LiveJournal cuts are for!)
You know, it’s not a big deal to hear about a dream once in a while because it’s:
a) short and/or funny or
b) it has a point and perhaps even an interpretation – you know, one you came up with on your own and you just want to share.
Even if you want help interpreting, I get that. Detailing how the BBQ turned into a squid and then I sprayed you with water is of no interest to me, even if you are my friend.
Friends. If it fits into the conversation and is important to the point, feel free to drop your friend’s name. I do not, however, need to be constantly updated on your friend’s personal situations, emails they’ve sent you, or anything else. They are your friends, not mine, and I just don’t care.
Gossip. Women and gossip. I just don’t get it. Notice most of my friends are the kind who don’t really gossip. Even though we all fall into that trap on rare occasions, it’s not a usual thing and we all feel weird because we don’t participate. That whole women, catty, gossip, fashion police thing I just don’t get.
Perhaps that’s why I’ve always gotten along so well with men.
You so crezee! If you have to tell people you are crazy, you aren’t. If you spend time singing off in tangents just to show people how crazy you are, what you probably don’t realize is that you are just making yourself look stupid because most people who really are free-thinking, outside the box kind of crazy can see right through you – and whether they say it out loud or not, they most likely think you’re a loser.
Pretending to have voices that have developed into personalities doesn’t make you schizophrenic. It also doesn’t make you creative. Despite what people who don’t know you might think, those who do are thinking that you’re a bit pathetic because we see right through you. Those of us who’ve taken sophomore psychology can tell you for a fact that you’re a big faker and it’s not working.
