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With better news and a comment:
1) I realized I never said here that things with hubby are a lot better. At first, he was all ready for things to be fine, but I was still pissed off and not sure how I felt. Slowly I started to feel okay with it. A few days ago I knew I still love him and yesterday I had an epiphany on why I might have been so pissed off - and it was partly my fault. So, that's good - that I identified that.
2) I didn't show support or even comment on that whole self-injury awareness day. It's been on my mind a lot. Didn't really know how to say what I felt, but today I want to say something.
If you are one of my self-inflicting injury friends, I care about you. (If you are not, I still care). Don't ever think I don't. It's just that your injuries make no difference to me - meaning it doesn't make me feel less for you or of you. What I say to follow may seem callous, but it's my thoughts so, here goes:
I felt like the whole day/event was to make people not ashamed of what they might do to themselves, but it didn't ring with me. Some people avoid discussing their self-injurious events not because they are ashamed - they just don't feel like the world needs to know about it. I have secrets, personal...we'll call them demons... that I have no problems talking about if I have a reason. I guess sometimes I think that I don't want to tell people certain secrets because I don't want to appear attention-seeking or (more common with me lately) I don't need responses that sound like pity. I hate pity. I don't need pity.
So, I keep it to myself, these "secrets" and maybe deny that it's a part of who I am (despite many resolutions to not do things, it never stops). Still, I've come to realize that in some cases, talking about it might be a cry for help, an admission of who they are, or a number of other things. Those things just aren't something I do. Shortsighted of me, yeah, I know. I didn't give support to friends or advertise anything because I felt it was a bit of that: advertisement.
So, a bit late, definitely, but I care about my friends who do things and I care about those who don't. For whatever reason you do them and talk about it I support your need. Just do me a favour. Be careful, okay? It can get out of hand very fast...
1) I realized I never said here that things with hubby are a lot better. At first, he was all ready for things to be fine, but I was still pissed off and not sure how I felt. Slowly I started to feel okay with it. A few days ago I knew I still love him and yesterday I had an epiphany on why I might have been so pissed off - and it was partly my fault. So, that's good - that I identified that.
2) I didn't show support or even comment on that whole self-injury awareness day. It's been on my mind a lot. Didn't really know how to say what I felt, but today I want to say something.
If you are one of my self-inflicting injury friends, I care about you. (If you are not, I still care). Don't ever think I don't. It's just that your injuries make no difference to me - meaning it doesn't make me feel less for you or of you. What I say to follow may seem callous, but it's my thoughts so, here goes:
I felt like the whole day/event was to make people not ashamed of what they might do to themselves, but it didn't ring with me. Some people avoid discussing their self-injurious events not because they are ashamed - they just don't feel like the world needs to know about it. I have secrets, personal...we'll call them demons... that I have no problems talking about if I have a reason. I guess sometimes I think that I don't want to tell people certain secrets because I don't want to appear attention-seeking or (more common with me lately) I don't need responses that sound like pity. I hate pity. I don't need pity.
So, I keep it to myself, these "secrets" and maybe deny that it's a part of who I am (despite many resolutions to not do things, it never stops). Still, I've come to realize that in some cases, talking about it might be a cry for help, an admission of who they are, or a number of other things. Those things just aren't something I do. Shortsighted of me, yeah, I know. I didn't give support to friends or advertise anything because I felt it was a bit of that: advertisement.
So, a bit late, definitely, but I care about my friends who do things and I care about those who don't. For whatever reason you do them and talk about it I support your need. Just do me a favour. Be careful, okay? It can get out of hand very fast...
