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realizations come from new fic
I have just posted a new story to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
snoweefic. Well, sort of. I actually had to set up some free webspace in a hurry and post it there because it was far too long for LJ and I didn't want to spam by posting it in parts.
Okay, it's an original (non-fandom fic). I haven't come up with a good teaser or summary for it yet.
I had two proofreaders.
The thing is, I have to wonder about my taste or whatever because I like it. I think it turned out okay. It might not be perfect as I didn't look at it with my super-critical eye, but I thought it was a fun, porny little read. Both of my proof-readers had major hesitancies about that. Both of them read it a second time and then said it was better, but both found that upon first reading... well, I don't want to say that they thought it sucked because one of them will read this and argue with me and neither of them used that word or anything like it.
I don't know. I have just brought up a whole lot of issues. I think I'm an okay writer. I don't expect everyone to love everything I write. I don't expect much at all, but when I read it and think it's good and then no one else does, I have to wonder what I'm working toward? Yes, someday I dream of being published. I have two parts of my brain, one for fun and the other for publication. Both are full of ideas. If I have no concept of what people want to read, though, then how will the other half ever be worth the work I put into it?
Whatever. It's a lot of pressure I put on myself. I have heard it all before. Supportive words, words about practice, etc, etc. This isn't about that. This is about feeling like I don't fit. It's about feeling like I can write things that people WILL read, but not writing things that people...connect to in a way they don't connect to other things.
Anyway, anyway, sorry. Get there throughsnoweefic or here.
Just please please please do not lie or fluff to make me feel better. My ego isn't that fragile. I just need to come to terms with this.
snoweefic. Well, sort of. I actually had to set up some free webspace in a hurry and post it there because it was far too long for LJ and I didn't want to spam by posting it in parts.Okay, it's an original (non-fandom fic). I haven't come up with a good teaser or summary for it yet.
I had two proofreaders.
The thing is, I have to wonder about my taste or whatever because I like it. I think it turned out okay. It might not be perfect as I didn't look at it with my super-critical eye, but I thought it was a fun, porny little read. Both of my proof-readers had major hesitancies about that. Both of them read it a second time and then said it was better, but both found that upon first reading... well, I don't want to say that they thought it sucked because one of them will read this and argue with me and neither of them used that word or anything like it.
I don't know. I have just brought up a whole lot of issues. I think I'm an okay writer. I don't expect everyone to love everything I write. I don't expect much at all, but when I read it and think it's good and then no one else does, I have to wonder what I'm working toward? Yes, someday I dream of being published. I have two parts of my brain, one for fun and the other for publication. Both are full of ideas. If I have no concept of what people want to read, though, then how will the other half ever be worth the work I put into it?
Whatever. It's a lot of pressure I put on myself. I have heard it all before. Supportive words, words about practice, etc, etc. This isn't about that. This is about feeling like I don't fit. It's about feeling like I can write things that people WILL read, but not writing things that people...connect to in a way they don't connect to other things.
Anyway, anyway, sorry. Get there through
snoweefic or here.Just please please please do not lie or fluff to make me feel better. My ego isn't that fragile. I just need to come to terms with this.